I am going to send a cease and desist letter to all major TV News outlets. The letter will be stern, on my firm’s letterhead, sent certified mail, use punctuation incorrectly, and ALL CAPS for emphasis. The letter will state the following:
DEAR JOURNALIST –
YOU ARE HEREBY COMMANDED TO CEASE AND DESIST FROM YELLING, RAISING YOUR VOICE OR ARGUING WITH ANYONE ON LIVE TV. YOU ARE DESTROYING CIVILITY IN OUR NATION AND I WILL NO LONGER STAND FOR IT.
YOU HAVE 2 DAYS TO CEASE THIS ILLEGAL AND HORRIBLE BEHAVIOR, or I will file suit in State and Federal Court. I will seek damages for emotional distress, money damages spent on therapy because I feel attacked and constantly belittled by you, and all other damages allowed by law.
Lauren Morgan Ellerman Attorney, Lawyer, Counselor at Law, Esq.
Note, I am using CAPS inappropriately, claiming a violation of the law and demanding the actions cease, immediately.
It’s a very forceful and clearly written demand.
It must mean something, right? It must be a binding legal document?
Nope. It means nothing. It is a waste of paper product and has no effect whatsoever on the recipients, their legal obligations or my potential legal claims. It is a farce. As are many cease and desist letters written and sent on behalf of Virginia companies.
Some however, are quite
useful and important. Some cease and desist letters are good faith efforts to resolve conflict prior to seeking judicial intervention. Some, deserve immediate attention and behavioral modification.
Want to know whether the Cease and Desist letter you received is (a) useless like the one I plan to send to all TV news anchors, or (b) the rare exception where controversy exists and invites potential remedy, call our office. I would be happy to help translate for you.