Rumor has it, you have said mean things, taken our trade secrets and tried to take our clients. This ticks us off and so we are going to send you a mean letter making all sorts of threats we do not intend to follow through with.
No really. Scared yet?
Stop calling our clients or else we will sue!!
Ok, so the gig is up. I work for employees only and do not draft cease and desist letters. APRIL FOOLS!